One day, a man came to Akshehir and wanted to see the Hodja, who was famous as a great joker.
He saw a man leaning on a wall and asked him if he knew where the Hodja was.
This man said that he was busy at the moment leaning against the wall so that it would not fall down, but if the man would do his job he would go and look for the Hodja and call him.
The man said "O.K." and leaned against the wall. He waited and waited but the other man did not return.
He told some people passing by, of the situation. When he described the man the people began to laugh and said to him:
"Didn't you believe that the Hodja was a joker? That was the Hodja to whom you spoke."
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
The Cauldron That Died
Nasreddin Hodja, having need for a large cooking container, borrowed his neighbor's copper cauldron, then returned it in a timely manner.
"What is this?" asked his neighbor upon examining the returned cauldron. "There is a small pot inside my cauldron."
"Oh," responded the Hodja. "While it was in my care your cauldron gave birth to a little one. Because you are the owner of the mother cauldron, it is only right that you should keep its baby. And in any event, it would not be right to separate the child from its mother at such a young age."
The neighbor, thinking that the Hodja had gone quite mad, did not argue. Whatever had caused the crazy man to come up with this explanation, the neighbor had a nice little pot, and it had cost him nothing.
Some time later the Hodja asked to borrow the cauldron again.
"Why not?" thought the neighbor to himself. "Perhaps there will be another little pot inside when he returns it."
But this time the Hodja did not return the cauldron. After many days had passed, the neighbor went to the Hodja and asked for the return of the borrowed cauldron.
"My dear friend," replied the Hodja. "I have bad news. Your cauldron has died, and is now in her grave."
"What are you saying?" shouted the neighbor. A cauldron does not live, and it cannot die. Return it to me at once!"
"One moment!" answered the Hodja. "This is the same cauldron that but a short time ago gave birth to a child, a child that is still in your possession. If a cauldron can give birth to a child, then it also can die."
And the neighbor never again saw his cauldron.
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Roasted Goose
One day a man said to the Hodja that he saw a man bringing a roasted goose.
"It doesn't interest me", said the Hodja.
"But it was going to your house", said the man.
"Then it doesn't interest you", replied the Hodja.
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
The Slap
Nasreddin Hodja was standing in the marketplace when a stranger stepped up to him and slapped him in the face, but then said, "I beg your pardon. I thought that you were someone else."
This explanation did not satisfy the Hodja, so he brought the stranger before the qadi and demanded compensation.
The Hodja soon perceived that the qadi and the defendant were friends. The latter admitted his guilt, and the judge pronounced the sentence: "The settlement for this offense is one piaster, to be paid to the plaintiff. If you do not have a piaster with you, then you may bring it here to the plaintiff at your convenience."
Hearing this sentence, the defendant went on his way. The Hodja waited for him to return with the piaster. And he waited. And he waited.
Some time later the Hodja said to the qadi, "Do I understand correctly that one piaster is sufficient payment for a slap?"
"Yes," answered the qadi.
Hearing this answer, the Hodja slapped the judge in the face and said, "You may keep my piaster when the defendant returns with it," then walked away.
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Yawning
One day, the Hodja went to another village. Nobody offered him something to eat, instead they asked him:
"Hodja, why do people yawn?"
"There are two reasons: One of them is tiredness, the other is hunger."
After yawning for a while he finished up his words:
"I'm not tired!"
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Who Do You Believe?
One day, a friend of the Hodja came to him and asked if he could borrow his donkey for two hours to go to the town. The Hodja, not really wanting to lend his donkey, thought for a while and then said:
"Dear friend, I would like to help you but I have lent my donkey to another friend"
The man was turning to leave when he heard the donkey, who was in the stable, bray. The braying became louder and louder. Then the man turned to the Hodja with great anger and shouted:
"You, Hodja, you have cheated me!"
The Hodja, in turn, was very angry and shouted back:
"You silly man, haven't you any sense, whom do you believe, me or the donkey".
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Walnuts and Pumpkins
Nasreddin Hodja was lying in the shade of an ancient walnut tree. His body was at rest, but, befitting his calling as an imam, his mind did not relax. Looking up into the mighty tree he considered the greatness and wisdom of Allah.
"Allah is great and Allah is good," said the Hodja, "but was it indeed wise that such a great tree as this be created to bear only tiny walnuts as fruit? Behold the stout stem and strong limbs. They could easily carry the pumpkins that grow from spindly vines in yonder field, vines that cannot begin to bear the weight of their own fruit. Should not walnuts grow on weakly vines and pumpkins on sturdy trees?" So thinking, the Hodja dosed off, only to be awakened by a walnut that fell from the tree, striking him on his forehead.
"Allah be praised!" he exclaimed, seeing what had happened. "If the world had been created according to my meager wisdom, it would have been a pumpkin that fell from the tree and hit me on the head. It would have killed me for sure! Allah is great! Allah is good! Allah is wise!"
Never again did Nasreddin Hodja question the wisdom of Allah.
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Where The Coffin Goes
One day one of the men of Aksehir died. His wife was crying.
"Oh, my husband! Where have you gone? There is no light, there is no food, there is nothing!"
When the Hodja heard this, he ran home and said to his wife.
"My wife! Open the door! The coffin is coming to our house!"
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Where To Go
The people asked the Hodja,
"Dear Hodja, tell us, where should we go in a funeral procession, in front, at the back, or at the side?"
The Hodja answered, "It doesn't matter where you go, as long as you don't go in the coffin."
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Wrong Way
When the Hodja was going somewhere, he got on his donkey with his back facing to front.
"Hodja Effendi", the people said.
"You are sitting on your donkey the wrong way round".
"No", he said.
"It's just that the donkey is standing the wrong way round."
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Balance Of The World
Someone asked: "Hodja Effendi, why do people go to different directions, when they leave their houses in the morning?"
The Hodja answered without hesitation: "If all of them would go to the same direction, this would throw off the balance of the world!"
A Nasraddin Hodja Joke
Blanket Is Gone
At midnight the Hodja heard a noise. Two men were struggling outside.
The Hodja got out of his bed with a blanket over him and went to the front of his house.
He asked them why they were fighting. Without answering, one of them took the blanket that covered the Hodja and they both fled. So the poor Hodja returned to his bed again.
"What were they fighting about?", asked his wife.
"About our blanket", said the Hodja. "Now the blanket is gone, so the struggle is over."